by Mary Ellen Carlson, Director
Heritage House Childcare & Learning Center

November 2007 - I would like to dedicate this article in memory of my Dad, Charles H. Brown, and in honor of my Mom, Ruth C. Brown, for being parents of integrity and for raising their children with the Three C’s.

COMMITMENT, as stated in Webster’s Dictionary, is a “pledge of promise, dedication and responsibility.”  More important than any other priority in our lives is our commitment to our children.

In Deuteronomy 4, Moses is talking to the “children” of Israel about the importance of keeping God’s commandments.  He then speaks directly to parents/guardians by stating, “Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren.”

As parents and guardians, we need to make a vice-grip-firm commitment that above our social life, above our job, and above all the things that vie for our time, we will prioritize our family.  Prioritizing your family is a decision.  Put your children on your calendar, block out family time, and don’t cancel for anything but an emergency.  Children are taught best by example.  From the very beginning, they are watching you.  They are very sensitive to your actions as well as your reactions to most situations.

CONSISTENCY, as stated in Webster’s Dictionary, is “constancy, evenness and stability.”  Children thrive on consistency when it comes to their routine daily activities, discipline, and relationships.

“Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it.” - Proverbs 22:6.

Most of the time, children try to live up to reasonable expectations.  It is important for us as parents, guardians, and caregivers to remain regular with our expectations amongst ourselves so that children experience consistency.  If this is not done, children receive mixed messages and become confused and frustrated.

At Heritage House Childcare & Learning Center, the concept of consistency is very important.  We know our children benefit most from their day care and early learning experiences when parents/guardians and teachers work cooperatively together.  As caregivers, we need to support each other when dealing with our children.

I often think back to my childhood when we would ask Mom to do something.  More times than not, her answer was, “Let me talk to your Dad and then I will get back to you.”  This made a big impression on me as I saw them as a united front.  The consistency was there in a very obvious way.  I did not have one parent telling me one thing and the other telling me something else.

Caregivers who support each other are a great stabilizer in a child’s life.  Like us, children are creatures of habit.  This is demonstrated in toddlers that want to hear you read the same book over and over.  They love the familiar and they depend on a routine.  It is important that when you tell a child something, such as when you will pick them up or when you will be home, that you do just that.  When a child is let down repeatedly, it erodes their trust.

It is important that when you discipline a child you carry through with what you said from the beginning.  If you constantly are “changing your mind” on discipline, or the things your child has come to depend on, they begin to doubt what you tell them.  An example of this is when a child has parents and caregivers that don’t have similar methods and beliefs of raising a child.  It is important that you entrust the care of your child with adults who share and support your methods of rearing a child.  If you don’t do this, it will create a very unstable and untrusting child.

COMPASSION, as stated in Webster’s Dictionary, “is tenderness, deep awareness of another person’s needs and clemency.”  We need to be sensitive to our children’s needs and recognize their individual differences.

My husband and I raised three children.  Each child has his or her own road map to follow.  It has always amazed me how different children are that come from the same household with the same parents that are using similar methods of child rearing.  This is where that deep awareness of your children’s needs comes into play.  Tune into the methods that work for each child.  What works for one may not work for the other child.

As parents and guardians, we make many mistakes.  As with most things that are worth your time, it takes endless energy to stay the course.  Frustration is felt often when raising infants and toddlers.  It is a time of trying to figure out what they need.  It is a learning experience that never ends.  Everyday, compassion will have to be at the forefront of your mind and actions when you deal with your little ones.  Remaining compassionate throughout their childhood will be a way of life that they will model after in later years when they have children of their own.

At Heritage House, we strive for as much consistency in our kids’ daily activities as possible.  Repetition for children of this age is a huge comfort for them.  A child’s confidence is built when things are stable in their life.  When children have adults that show compassion and are consistent with them, they will reflect that in their behavior and attitude.  Being proactive in our commitment to our children on a daily basis will create payback tenfold.